"University was the best time of my life".. that is all we seem to hear. I agree to an extent. I did 4 years at university in Lincoln and it changed me so much as a person. I grew, I made more friends than I ever thought I would, I met the love of my life, fell in love with the city I moved to. I did so many crazy things within those 4 years- in education and out. However, nobody tells you about what happens after university.
The rush of university- going out 4+ times a week, constantly seeing friends, assignments to complete, family to see, friends in other cities, film nights in, meals out, shopping, lectures, reading books, pre-drinks, parties, birthdays, learning, growing, making new friends, travelling.... I swear this list is never ending. To go from this to (for me) nothing was intense.
"That feeling of free falling without deadlines or schedules. Scary."
I popped a little note on Instagram to see how other people had felt after they finished university and I don't think I have ever received so many messages all at once- it is clear that others feel this way too. The topic that most people discussed with me was that of loneliness after uni.
My personal experience is that the majority of my friends from Grimsby (my hometown where I grew up) moved away or got a crazily busy job, therefore I hardly get to see any of them. Also, most of the friends I made in Lincoln moved back home after 3 years of uni.
After my undergraduate, I did notice how lonely I was becoming. My new housemates weren't exactly the kindest or most understanding, and the majority of my friends weren't around me, however, at least I had the constant assignments, planning and distractions within my PGCE to pass the time and to focus on something else. Whereas now... I have no distractions.
"I never expected life after uni to be lonely, but it 100% is! It's probably the hardest thing about being an adult."
Another topic that people brought up with me was that of mental health issues. This is something that could be put into many-a blog post and if I'm honest, I don't think I'm ready to talk about my personal experience with this (I don't think I will be for a long time). Although, others did message me about their experiences. A lot of people said they were majorly depressed, anxious and felt lost in this kind of "limbo stage".
The last topic I want to discuss is about getting a job after all that hard work at university. This is arguably the main reason most people go to uni- for the purpose of getting a job in an area you love...?
"Nobody tells you how hard it is to get a job after uni."
I have my own story on this that could last 18 pages FRONT AND BACK... but let's just say I trained ridiculously hard in an area I have wanted to do since I was 5, however, the training made me begin to HATE it and I was becoming ill due to the workload and stress I was under. Even though I had to deal with all that, I continued to apply for jobs. I began in January 2017 and to this day, I still don't have a job in the area I wanted (blessing in disguise?????). The application forms used to take me 8-10 hours, if not more, because I made them so specific to the setting I was applying for (yes I would do this on top of working what felt like ALLLLL the time) and the interviews are near impossible when there are 12 people there and one job.
I do have a job now and I am SO excited. It is the most perfect place, everyone is so kind and I am ridiculously lucky. It is not in the area I originally wanted to go into, but maybe that is for the best. "Don't think about your first job as the defining one- maybe don't think of any job as the defining one...."
I apologise for the negativity and I don't want to scare anyone who's at uni or wanting to go to uni. I love to be a positive person, but sometimes you have to just be honest.
I would love to hear your experience in this area.
Love,
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